Take Me Back to the Start
by beforeyoufadefromme
Summary: After the weeping angels sent both the ponds back in time, Amelia writes letters to her doctor. She thinks it will help her get over the fact that they will never see each other again. After each letter she makes, she learns something that could ruin her relationship with Rory.
1. Doctor, please save me

October 5, 1926

Dear Doctor,

I have decided to write to you since that's what Rory has been telling me to do. I can't really put my exact thoughts on this letter other than I miss you. It's only been 6 days. Well, around there. I'm not sure. I've been trying to keep my mind off of the subject, but it's just not really working. Especially since every night at dinner so far, I keep telling Rory the stories, _the memories, _of us together. He tries to listen, but he usually gets lost towards the middle. He still pretends that he is paying attention, which is nice of him. I thought it would help to relive the adventures, but it just hurts to think of them. Yet, I can't stop. And I won't.

Oh, right. I guess I should tell you how Rory and I reunited. After the graveyard, I flashed onto this.. Let's see… This hill. There were streets, but they were mostly being used by carriages that were pulled by horses. That's when I saw the lone centurion, roaming the city aimlessly. I was a few blocks away, but even from there you could see that his eyes were colored red and his cheeks were stained with tears. I could feel my heart breaking. But I don't know if it was from disappearing from you or seeing Rory cry. My first reaction was to run, to scream. I did anything I could to get his attention. Luckily, I did. His head looked up and spotted me rushing towards him. He raced to me, ignoring the people that he was bumping.  
"Amy!"  
"Rory!"  
Our voices echoed throughout the town, catching the ears of strangers. No one understood that we could have never seen each other again. But, we did. After a few more steps, I was welcomed into his arms. My head perfectly stuffed in to his shoulders, as his arms tightly wrapped around my torso. We both stood there and cried. It was happy cries, though. So don't think that we weren't happy. We were. But for me now, I am not so sure.  
It flew from our mind that we would be homeless until one of us gets a job. We really realized our dilemma when the sun went down. Rory and I didn't sleep outside, though. A very nice couple, who are now in there sixties, are letting us in their guest room until we get on our feet. Cory and Anastasia, that is their names, leave us alone at night to go visit their kids. During the afternoon, they are searching for jobs for us and feeding us. I still feel terrible that we just came in here and they are doing all this stuff for both of us. We are paying back by forcing Rory to fix the garden and making me doing the laundry. Rory's doing a good job. Somewhat. If only you could see it.

Today, we went to the grocery store to help Anastasia with her chores. We were strolling down this one aisle, I don't really remember what category it was, but on one of the shelves I saw something that made me think of you. Could you guess what it is? If you thought fish fingers, then you are correct. I broke into tears right in the middle of the store. I got really odd stares, but I couldn't help it. Rory wrapped an arm around me and kept moving forward. He didn't say a word about it for the rest of the shopping. It was nice, since he knows how much I hate it when people keep talking to me while I'm crying. Besides the emotional part, it was funny in some twisted way. It brought back the time when I first saw you. I can't get that out of my head. When you threw up the beans, the yogurt, and the apple. The apple was the oddest part. How could you not like apples? Apples aren't rubbish. They are the best.

I just don't get why me? Out of all the places for a crack to appear, it was in my bedroom. I don't really mind. If it wasn't for that thing that was sucking my life away, I would've never met you. Stupid raggedy man. I wonder what I would be doing right now if I haven't met you. Probably would've had a normal wedding and a normal life. That would be boring. You really put sparks in my life, you know. You, Rory, and River.

I bet River is there with you. I told her to watch after you, so hopefully she is. Although, it is like her to wander off. That reminds me, I also want you to watch after her. That crazy girl. She is always causing trouble, isn't she? Yet, she always gets out of it. She's just like Rory in a way. In a lot of ways, actually.

Anyways, I hope you are okay. I hope you are taking our disappearance better than I am. But, you probably already replaced us. Me. There's probably some other girl in that blue box, falling in love with you. It hurts to think like that, but it was destined to happen. All of your companions leave you or forget you or some of them die. That's what you always said. I just wonder who we replaced. I wonder if they are still alive and wishing they were still with you. I am. I am alive, but I feel empty. I didn't know I would be this upset. I have Rory. Shouldn't he be enough? He's wonderful, but so are you.  
I should just stop thinking.

Love always,  
Amelia.

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OOC: Hello~! My name is Danielle. This is my first time publishing a fanfiction, so hopefully it's good. I am a bit pleased with it and hopefully you are too. If you aren't please tell me why so I can strengthen my weaknesses. c: Leave reviews, too! I love those~! 3 Thank you.


	2. Save me from the dark

October 10th, 1933

Dear Doctor,

Cory and Anastasia went to California for a couple of weeks. Something with family happened. I think their cousin had a stroke. I do hope they have landed safely. I can't stop thinking and worrying. I told them to call when they landed. They left this morning, so they should be calling soon. I can't lose more important people that were in my life. On the bright side, Rory and I got a little time alone. We just talked, mind you. So, slapped that smile off of your face. Well, if you are grinning. If you aren't, then I should stop continuing..

I sure hope you are grinning. Frowning doesn't look good on you, idiot. Smile for me, please? Oh, that reminds me.

Rory told me on how he knew that you loved me. This is how the conversation went:

"Amy, you do know that he loves you, right?"

Giving him an odd look, I shook my head. "I don't know. He's married to our daughter. River, remember her?" It was a stupid question to ask, but I just tried to make the point clear. I knew I hit a soft spot when I said that, because I could see the pain in his eyes.

"Listen, Amy. I'm not joking right now. I do remember our daughter and the way they acted together. But he never looked at her the way he did with you. Every time you disappeared, he lost it. And I got to witness it. I got to witness the Doctor being in love with my wife. My lover. Yet, it still pained me to see him like. So, if he does come back for us, please go with him. I'll be okay on my own, Amy. And before you say no, just do it for me. You can be so much happier with him. Anyways, let's change the subject. I thought that would make you feel better. Obviously, it didn't."

He was talking about the growing tears in my eyes. It because I realized that maybe you did have feelings for me, and that maybe I had feelings for you too. Feelings that surpassed my feelings for Rory. Which is wrong, he has done nothing but love me and I have done nothing but hurt him. Plus, to see your husband beg you to go with someone else is heart breaking. I felt that I never loved him like I could have. I guess it's too late. Now he's sleeping in a different room. I always hurt the people closest to me, but I never thought I would hurt Rory. It just kills me. Please, please make it better. You're good at doing that.

But, is it true what Rory said? Do you really love me, raggedy man? Damn you for not telling me. I'll only believe it if you say it yourself.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore. It's not like I'm going to hear you say it. I made the choice on not being able to see you again. I wish I listened to you. I wish I just went back into the tardis, going, going place after place. Anyways, I couldn't leave stupid Rory behind – if you read over this Rory, just know that I love you – all by himself. He wouldn't be able to live for more than two days.

Well, who know such a person like you could take over my mind. Yes, that was pointed to you, Doctor. I just really want to see you, or maybe even talk to you again. I even came up with this idea. Once I finish this letter, I usually go to the spot where they put my grave.. Yes, I remember the spot. How could I forget such a place that changed my life forever? Anyways, I dig a hole right where Rory and I's graves will be put. So, maybe someone will find these later on in the future. Hopefully you'll be smart enough to find them.

Wow, this letter was all over the place. Sorry. My thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations.

Love always,

Amelia Pond.

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Sorry for the really short chapter and the long break. D: I hope this is good, I wrote it during church. I haven't had much time to write anymore since school has been keeping me busy. If you're bored, just wait until the next chapter. That's when it gets interesting. Thank you!


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